With the amount of change I've been experiencing in the past month and all that means for my spinning noggin, you'd think I'd have something interesting to share. No clear anecdotes to appease my ropey thoughts. A nautical knot that starts at the stem of my brain, down to an anchor that can't find berth.
All this is to say, things are good. Great in fact. I'm leaving town and won't be around.
It's not the act of saying "goodbye" that's hard, it's that from this moment on, I've chosen to go another way. To go on without you. Thanks for everything. See you later.
I'm leaving Calgary in 9 days. Just bought a one way ticket to the coast.
When I told my mom, it was as if I had simply mentioned I was going to the store to buy some bread, a jug of milk, and a stick of butter. "When do you leave?" Thursday. "You'll have to ask your dad for a ride to the airport, I'll be out of town".
Not that she isn't supportive, just not one to meddle.
I'm not starting over, I'm keepin' on.
I've worn out the streets in the city that has made me. The city I loved. Calgary is a city with potential, but how long can you keep saying that before you realize it isn't going to reach beyond itself. I'm not a hater on this city. I don't think, like many friends who have moved to Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, etc with the idea that those towns are going to save them, that a rich culture can somehow satisfy and bring true fulfillment. I call bullshit on that one.
This truly is the end of an era. Pete's traveling Australia for a while and likely not returning to Calgary. For now, Dik is staying put on his Couch of Responsibility and Love Seat of Sobriety here in Calgary. There was a time I took these guys for granted. Not anymore. Who knows when we'll be together in the same place again.
Much of who I am is because of these two. My sense of humor (How's the new car runnin'?) comes mostly from them. I think it's going to be a while before I feel funny again. All it takes is a look with these guys. Though, at least I know there are enough people in the world who can appreciate a well timed and executed Lebowski reference.
Mostly though, I'm going to miss the simple times with them. They've seen me through my happiest and darkest times. They've listened through the tears and manic rants. One night, last winter, on the way home from band practice at Marco's old place, I yelled the whole way home (half an hour). Melted down. They listened. I didn't feel any better, but at least they were there and didn't try to say "everything's going to be ok". Of coarse, they knew it would be ok. Great in fact.
Pete and Rich call me "The One With the Biggest Mouth". I think that's mostly because of the nature of our friendship. We're all listeners, but sometimes I feel like I need to fill the empty space...with noise. I hope I've been as good a listener as they have.
Thanks for everything. See you later.